God forbid the dreaded N-word.

I would like to insert these comments of mine into your psyche concerning the N-word. Some love it, others hate it, but I'll be damned if Aaron McGruder via Riley didn't make the N-word sing like Leotyne Price at the Opera House.

Needless to say that my stance on the N-word is one of simplicity and practicality, as is most of the major and minor decisions in my life. This essay relies on history, actions speak louder than words, “same shit different day”, relative self-esteem, and of course the Bible. Provided now for the gracious reader is the most balanced and sensitive assessment possible.

It is a most unfortunate fact that most people in this country, so quickly seem to forget history. And, the history of this country is one of HYPOCRISY, EXPLOITATION, RESISTANCE, and REVOLUTION. Honestly, lets face it. There is not one particular people group in the United States that is a more justified practitioner of protest and resistance than the African that finds his or herself in the economic, political, or religious cross hairs of the Ethnocentric Evangelical Anglo-Saxon Corporatist Machine. Even considering the tarnished inter-racial history of a country whose crimes against humanity grossly outnumber the years the planet has been in existence, it is no obscure trivia fact that the N-word and many other bastardized epithets are still alive and kicking. For the history of verbal injustice in this country is a bitter well, tepid and septic, and many still drink deeply of its most odious brew and pass it onto their children as easily as they would formula to a suckling babe. Africans were not the first 'guest-workers' in America, classified so because citizens of a nation do not and should not need special amendments to that nation’s founding documents to grant human beings the basic civil rights, afforded by citizenship in humanity. Therefore, considering history, realize immediately that African Americans are not the first victims of such an ugly “brand-name” in this country. I call it a 'brand-name' because we were the iPhone of back in the day. I'd imagine the lines at the Apple store when a new product is launched would be no different than the lines to get the best slaves possible fresh off the ship. In chronological order there were the Native American “Red Indian” people, the Irish “Orange Ginger” people, the African “Black jungle-monkey” people, the Asian “Yellow Chink” people, and now there are the Mexican “Brown Wet-back or Beaner” people, and the Arab “Sand n-word and Towel-head” people. Surely our memories have not failed us to the point that we have forgotten about the colorful history of the America:

• Bright itchy red with the boils and sores of small pox, STD's, and other diseases that were purposefully introduced to Native Americans, helping colonists exterminate over 55 million *genocide* men, women, and children. Savage Native bastards; just like a bunch of paganistic heathens to mass murder an entire race of people and steal their land using false promises and dubious treaties! Christians would have been much more civilized.
• Black and blue with bruises from the bludgeoning of many Irish immigrants, whose orange hair and golden brown freckles, made them easy to pick out and pick off. A helpless people fleeing to the US to avoid starving to death during the Potato blight, made worse by a British blockade, preventing much needed aid. *Insert hard-hitting sarcastic quip about the bile-belching hypocrisy of colonists, seeking freedom while enslaving and killing any and all peoples different*
• Sinister crimson with the spilled blood and emaciated flesh of millions of Africans slain for the astronomical profit of green money exchanged for black pagan souls. I cannot understand how this country could have the balls to tout itself as the “land of the free and the home of the brave” at any point, ever.
• Sparkling crystal with tears of the many Asian Americans imprisoned solely on the basis of race and nationality in internment camps during World War II. But God Damn the Germans for imprisoning and killing Jews, based solely on their... Oh, God. Choking on double standards.
• Brilliant silver for the armor and cutlery of the conquistadors that came offering Jesus Christ on the tips of their swords to the people of the Central and Southern Americas.
• And finally the pale-greenish gray of the many bombs dropped on countless Iraqi, Afghan, and soon Iranian civilians and the matte blue-black of composite materials which make up our new full-automatic rifles and gas-powered automatic shotguns. But we wonder why people around the world don't want our kind of 'democracy'.

Surely when put in its proper perspective, the true colors of the history of this nation shine through brightly, even having a golden mass-grave at the end of the rainbow. Blacks therefore have to recall the history of this country to understand that to call us 'nigga' and all the other races out of their name is actually near night and day progress in terms of American race exterminations relations, in comparison to the barbaric ways of the US Christian past.

Generally speaking the lifestyle of “practice what you preach” and the philosophy of actions speak louder than words would guide this world into a golden age of prosperity, justice, and equality. Most people do attempt to implement this lifestyle for the good of all people, of course varying degrees of intensity for family, friends, fellow organization members, neighbors, etc, yet there exists a most notorious group of people that refuses to practice the Golden Rule, “Do unto others, as you would have others do unto you”. Such people find nothing wrong with omitting this rule when it comes to dispensing the righteous wrath of Holy God and possess no compassion for those “Rainbow people of God”. Such villainy in the old days was easily spotted and some would argue that this was for our betterment as we are now faced with closet racists whose minds have been sharpened to the point that their mouths mostly never spew the ethnocentric and paternalistic filth that has built up like putrid gall in the rotten bowels of their pitifully impotent and inadequate souls. That said, what matters to me is what a person has the restraint or lack thereof to do. In my world, crazy as it may be to you, action defines a person, lifestyle is the ultimate showing of a person’s beliefs. Whereas, with myself, this is best done with actions as well as words, there are other times when I would much rather have a man or woman just speak their mind when it comes to negativity, than for a person to do what they feel. Never forget that no person can change another person’s mind, they can only plant a seed in the garden, yet cognitive control and ownership is never shared. Remember Invictus. In other words, I would much prefer for someone to call me the n-word to my face or on some randome web page, I'd probably never see, than to have them throw one or more Molotov cocktails through the windows of my home while my family is resting. As I said, they are making progress.

Going back in time, we also see that this usage of selective language among friends/familiars compared to elders/higher-ups is nothing new. Take for instance the word “Joker”. I personally love this word and found one of the coolest things about hanging with my college golf coach was for him to call me and the other students he was fond of “Joker”. I can see his smile right now as he would show off by knocking balls “straight as a strang”, while we struggled to get them off the mat. But this was not cocky showing off and/or trash-talk, as he was as good a golfer and a gentleman, as he was a teacher, and wanted us to see that it could be done well and done easily, if we would only buckle down and try. --Elmer Mixon, you are blessed, now and forever.-- My point at this place in time should be most obvious. One of the best and easiest rebukes to the n-word is “Would you call your mother or grandmother that?” When first confronted with this hideous beast of a charge I was at first floored. “Jesus Christ NO; I wouldn’t call my mother that! Are you kidding!?” My resolve was instantly and thoroughly shaken, but then I gave more thought to other words and language that my elders and predecessors used that they would be hesitant to use in the presence of their matriarchs, let alone use that language to identify one of those queens of antiquity. 'Joker' the word that was used as a term of endearment/substitute for other words such as brother-man, pimp, playa, Jack, etc… fit the description and were all guilty as charged. Flip the script and ask that to an older gentleman next time you are confronted about your use of the n-word. Also for gratuitous use of this word Joker see the wonderful Tony Curtis and Sidney Portier movie “The Defiant Ones” *Long gone to Kentucky. Bowling green. Sewing machine.* And for documentation of someone using the n-word like it is going out of style, look no further than Richard Pryor. This argument also works with jive-turkey, heifer, the b-word, home-skillet, etc… (F.Y.I. I am not responsible for any injuries you incur while calling either of your parents, relatives, elders, etc. such names; do so at your own risk!)

Enigmatic, ingenious, strong, wonderful, beautiful, just some of a thousand words that can be used to describe the Black man Frederick Douglas. Such was the confidence and pride of this man that when called the n-word he was more incredulous to its power to insult him than incensed that it had been used against him. He responded with this, “The soul that is within me no man can degrade.” I mean really, what else would be the retort of such an amazing example of a Black man?! And that is where I fall. I mean picture this…

Stood before him was the redneck. This man reeked of stale warm Jack Daniels and morning sweat, yet it was barely after noon. The cancerous lump of the 'Red Man' chewing tobacco throbbed and swelled with each breath he was forced to take in the presence of this stinky black monkey that lacked the training to look at the ground before the large looming presence of the portly white overgrown boy.  The Black gentleman that stood before him was no fool and stood without saying a word as this good Christian scourged him with every epithet that he knew. This took about 15 seconds, and then he began to mix and match them as best he could. Each word spitefully squeezed through the few dirty and rotting clenched teeth of the savage was unleashed with all the fury of the 1800's lash that his title, Cracker,* entitled him to possess. The scene to most was like something out of a slave documentary, but it was not. This scene right here was the gentleman’s daily reality. He sighed and winced from the pains in his soul, pain not from the words that buffeted his welted black skin, but he grimaced with the thoughts of the tortures that awaited this barbarous and crass beast in hell. This generous excrementing of hate from his thin lips which were obviously drunk with the sour wine of spite, reeked with the sweat of overcompensation.

*As I imagine and understand it, 'Cracker' originated from referring to the master who CRACKS the whip. Therefore the duty of Whipper of the slaves or Cracker of the whip would be exclusively reserved for the white man in charge. You see, in context, Cracker is actually a title. For that matter, considering that Niger and Nigeria is on the west coast of Africa and they would have been called Nigerians, that would be too long a name, so shortened to Nigers and twisted with the Southern Twang to Niggers.  The evolution of the word this was seems plausible.  Back to that scene, the true victim in such an exchange is not the person that the words are fashioned against, but instead is the pitiful wielder of these self-destructing weapons of ethnocentrism. You can be stupid enough to call me whatever you like, but the unfortunate truth of the matter is that if you were that much greater than me, then you would enslave, embitter, and insult me without my ever knowing it; just Google debt.

Reverently reserved for the rear is the Word of God, the ultimate and final authority on any situation. When applied rationally, the Word covers any person who uses it completely and leaves nothing to chance and nothing bare. The first verse that I feel applies in this situation tackles the spirit as this is the essence and core of the human being. In Proverbs 20:27 a reader learns that “The lamp of the LORD searches the spirit of a man; it searches out his inmost being.” This is the primary reason that judgment of a person by another person is out of a human’s capacity; humans lack the capability to discern the entire truth of an individual’s whole human experience. How can you just sum a person up by skin color alone. Individuals have different genes, mental, physical, and spiritual vulnerabilities/disabilities and these various imperceptible varieties can cause physiological changes in our behaviors just like gravity causes the tide. Considering our frequent inability to accurately assign guilt when it comes to murders and rapes, even when using finger prints and DNA evidence, we should hardly be the ones to evaluate people based on one characteristic, even one so important as race or speech for those who use the n-word for whatever reason.  Furthermore, concerning God’s internal/thorough vision, a reader notices in Hebrews 4:12 that “the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” Again a wise reader notices that the ability to judge a person properly is by looking inside the person not at their race. We should seek to study the internal emotions, intent, and catalysts which cause the behavior to manifest on the outside to see if a person is really guilty or not when they use the n-word.  The last verse that I want to quote Matthew 12:34 reads, “O generation of vipers, how can ye, being evil, speak good things? for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.” This goes to show that even though people can lie and deceive, in the end the truth will always come to the surface and be revealed. Google Romney 47%. So what do I believe that God would say about the N-word, roughly “‘these people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship of me is made up only of rules taught by men.’ Isaiah 29:13”

EXCLAMATION composed of all the hatred of a people whose brutality and inhumanity encompasses the globe in a web of evil. A word which choked the history and culture of the beautiful African continent, ensnared their innocent peaceable people in the name of the three G’s God, Gold, and Glory, and bound the future of Africa OUR motherland, and reduced her to a goose that lays human and natural resource golden eggs. To some the n-word, one simple word, resurrects the pain of a near half century of the worst slavery and most efficient and sadistic system of exploitation and oppression experienced by any people in history.  Yet today this word is no longer synonymous with such depravity and has undergone great pains to shed its heinous history, thanks to the efforts of celebrities and others that purposely used the word in comedic situations and slowly but surely reduced its engorged and emblazoned barbed sting, down to a bump in our history that will remain forever so that we will never forget it’s long deceased meaning. Shall this word continue to torment the people that have survived the worst treatment the most barbaric people of all could conjure up? Shall this word plague a people who for centuries bore it as a mark of shame in the past? Nigga is the Joker/Jack, whereas Nigger will forever offend and cause pain. Now, thanks to the courageous and calculated efforts of many, the n-word is just another filler word used in slang, tossed though the air as harmlessly as one would a foam ball. Savage, goon, thug, bitch, slut, etc. we know do a better job of verbally demeaning and degrading ourselves than they ever did. Well…, I don’t know about you, but I don’t see reparations check anywhere near the horizon, unless Obama is the herald of the 2^nd coming, and I and my people have suffered enough. Don’t you think so my blessed brother? What about you my beloved sister? Let us love each other in action and in speech.



Peace and blessings,



CEH

Trayvon Martin, After the Protests, Arrests, Resignation and Indignation, What Does Black America Do Now?

My beloved audience, I beg you, from my literary knees to listen to me, keep an open mind, and realize that sometimes the truth hurts, but I assure you that the truth is always worth hearing and heeding. The tragedy of Trayvon Martin should not make us mourn at the killing of a young boy screaming for help at the top of his lungs. The tragedy of Trayvon Martin should not make us cry because of the 911 tape in which you hear neighbors, close enough to assist or defuse the situation, do nothing but cower and CYA. The tragedy of Trayvon Martin does not haunt us by allowing Zimmerman to walk as a freeman, even though Mr. Zimmerman disobeyed the police dispatcher's explicit and direct order DO NOT FOLLOW Martin. This tragedy does not make us wail because of the “Stand Your Ground” law which enables potential victims the right to defend themselves against threats, which are very real and increasing. The true tragedy of Travon Martin is that the majority of African Americans fail to associate their daily behavior, lifestyle, and decisions with the racial profiling which caused Zimmerman to target Martin. I repeat, the true tragedy of Travon Martin is that the majority of African Americans fail to associate their daily behavior, lifestyle, and decisions with the racial profiling which caused Zimmerman to target Martin.

First off, let me state that I am a black man. I am painfully and personally aware of the perceptions and problems which plague the young black male. I grew up and still reside in 30349, where kids would yell, “Zone 3!”, which pridefully boasts the police precinct for which my city and neighborhood are designated. A weed man lived a few houses past mine, there was a drive-by across the street, and we had a “candy lady” round the street. I've been too poor for ramen noodles and made it on rice and frozen lima beans. I've been so tired of water I've tried to make a sort of flavored drink by mixing jelly packets in water; it didn't readily diffuse. I've gone through domestic violence and washed clothes by hand in a sink. By no means, however, am I stating that I lived in the hood or had the worst life ever, but I was definitely not raised in a white well-to-do suburb. I state these facts to establish myself as a brother, not as a blamer or bourgeoisie. But enough about me for now, let's talk about the state of Young America and Black America.

Let's begin with education. Now is a time where the country's STEM (Science Technology Engineering and Mathematics) educational statistics are lagging behind other developed nations; only 32% of United States students are proficient in mathematics1. One out of every 5 students are enrolling in remedial mathematics coursework on the post-secondary level2. Minorities, particularly blacks are also suffering in regards to mathematics education, such that 50% are low-achieving3. Experts warn US secondary, collegiate, and post-graduate educators that students are being passed on who are increasingly more and more deficient in mathematics4. In general, only 12.9% of all Associates, 9.8% of all Bachelors, 10.7% of all Masters, 7.1% of all First-Professional, and 6.5% of all Doctoral degrees are conferred to African Americans5. The African American dropout rate in 2009 for ages 16-24 was 7%, and not even 20% of African Americans ranging age 25-29 have at least a Bachelors degree5. Ghastly...

As a long time teacher/tutor on the high school and collegiate level, I witness all too often the reality of these numbers. Statistics, I assure you are accurate and reflective of society, because they are based on and derived from the people themselves. Simply put, in class, I commonly only have about 40% of my students turn in any work and a 33% pass rate for 9th grade Algebra. For those who want to point the finger at racism, I ask you and literally them point-blank, “How did the white man in your home keep you down today, preventing you from doing your homework and/or studying? Also, where is the white man in this classroom who is keeping you down right now, making you text, talk, and not do your classwork and/or not take notes?” To their sobering silence I reply, “Let me know so I can get campus security to escort this unauthorized guest/visitor from the premises and have him arrested.” God forgive us.

Let us now consider the societal issues surrounding our young black people. Remember the “Zone 3!” expression from earlier, why are young Black males so fascinated with criminality?! Boys here run around in fake gangs, not real stuff like Crips, Bloods, Black Disciples, etc., just glorified cliques, nothing more than a ghetto breakfast club. Chumps running around claiming they are “savages” and “a beast” but cry in parent teacher conferences when their mother takes away the Polo and PS3. Boys claiming to be grown men, who when man-handled by a real man, want to go home crying to their parent(s), because their mouth wrote a check that their butt could not cash. Boys wearing sagging pants and oversized shirts, because it makes them look bigger, tougher, and harder, are appalled and terrified when they are again confronted with the reaction/consequences to their desired and chose projected persona/image. Boys treating women/girls like property, grabbing, hitting, and controlling them because they are the “man” in the relationship, in control, confusing fear and coercion as respect and admiration. In just one city this summer, these African American boys, so desperately and foolishly trying to prove their manhood, creeping around with semi-automatic handguns, AK47's at worst, have out-killed the hundreds of thousands of soldiers warring in Afghanistan who use hidden IED's, F-22 Raptor jet fighters, stealth bombers, surveillance drones, tanks, bazookas, etc! WTF!? Are adult black men so invisible and absent that all these young men have as a template of manhood is the rap, movies, music videos, and other media they consume on a regular basis?

Speaking of the absence of black men, are black mothers so incompetent and/or selfish that they cannot find a responsible, caring, man, who would be a great role-model and boo/husband? Or are they too busy trying to be 'grown and sexy' not realizing that the responsible, caring, man is more than likely not going to be attracted to a drama queen, who does not know that skin-tight leggins and a low cut blouse are not appropriate attire for a PTA meeting or any other school appearance. While on that subject, let me say that there is nothing real about ratchet black women on “Real Housewives of Atl”, "Basketball Wives", “Love and Hip-Hop” and/or any other of such “reality TV show”; they are paid actresses, who provide professionally crafted bad examples for black women and are kicked off if they are not 'ratchet' or ghetto enough6.

Please feel free to stop reading if I say something that is untrue. If you don't believe me, just go to http://www.worldstarhiphop.com, Love and Hip-Hop, or http://ratchetcentral.com/ to see Black America at it's peak of civility and sophistication. These modern day "Stepin Fetchit" sites, shows, and more brings me back to the central argument of this essay, “The true tragedy of Travon Martin is that the majority of African Americans fail to associate their daily behavior, lifestyle, and decisions with the racial profiling which caused Zimmerman to target Martin.”

Do we really think that we are the only ones who visit and watch the digital coon-shows or hot ghetto mess we produce? What is self-disgracing and tongue-in-cheek funny to us is the very kindling which fuels the inferno of racism and justifies the actions, politics, and treatment of other ethnic groups and/or races. Why are we this way? What is wrong with a people who find joy in recording, broadcasting, viewing, and sharing just how ignorant, animalistic, immoral, lewd, sexual, violent, and foolish we can be, but then protest, march, picket, and cry 'bloody racism' when we are regarded and treated exactly like the 'niggas' we proudly and willingly portray? Let me repeat, What is wrong with a people who find joy in recording, broadcasting, viewing, and sharing just how ignorant, animalistic, immoral, lewd, sexual, violent, and foolish we can be, but then protest, march, picket, and cry 'bloody racism' when we are regarded and treated exactly like the 'niggas' we proudly and willingly portray? In other words, how can we be taken seriously when we claim we are tired injustice and other forms of unfair treatment when we then turn around and live out the very stereotypes which justify our subjugation and mistreatment? To put it another way, how can we be angry at a man who treated a young black male like a thug/hood, “real 'nigga'” when we allow our sons, brothers, and nephews to be that everyday? We see our daughters dressing and behaving like hookers, we hear our sons listening to trash and emulating thugs, we smell the black and mild and/or weed in the air, and then feel our stomachs sink when the aftermath hits close to home, but will we change?

I personally am more angry at ourselves for not being better mentors, mothers, neighbors, family, concerned citizens, etc, than I am at Zimmerman, a man who did what he thought prudent to protect his neighborhood. As a homeowner in a high crime area, I have known niggas to break into Black people's homes during the day, afternoon, and at night, whether they are home or not. Hell, I stopped a potential home invasion from taking place by circling my subdivision several times lingering around a suspicious vehicle, prepped to rob a home on MOTHER'S DAY! Niggas have killed entire families, shot black men in their own homes, raped young girls inside foreclosed houses and regrettably much more. My subdivision had 3 home invasions in one weekend and that next Friday, not even an entire week later, the car, containing two young black males was back in the subdivision casing houses again. If I had been carrying, my piece would have made this piece an entirely different piece, but God, mercifully, did not have me armed at that time. That said, I could have easily been in Zimmerman's shoes, even though it would have been legitimate this time. I see no problem with defending your own or your neighbor's property from niggas. As Chris Rock said in his “Bring the Pain” comedy special, (paraphrased) “When I am at the ATM at night, I ain't looking over my shoulder for the media; I am looking for niggas!”

My beloved people, look at what we are doing to ourselves. Use the Fulton county crime map via the crimereports.com and contrast a black neighborhood (30349) to a white neighborhood (30214) and tell me how this is their fault? When will we stop blaming everyone but ourselves for the decline of our once glorious race? Oh remember the height from which we have fallen!? Black was Beautiful! I was a Man! I was Black and Proud! Now, black is not snitching (lying), thug (criminal), hood (uneducated), sexy (self-exploited), and other traits so much more sickening... We have willingly, although I hope unwittingly, demeaned and degraded ourselves to the societal scum of the USA and world and according to TMZ and internet stats, damn proud of it.

Therefore, I beg you. Do not only march for Trayvon Martin. Do not just don a damned hoody for Trayvon Martin. Do not only write your Congressional Representative. Be a better parent for Trayvon Martin! Pass a class for Trayvon Martin! Pull yo damn pants up for Trayvon Martin! Cover up your goodies for Trayvon Martin! Be the proud black man Trayvon Martin will never grow to be! Be a mentor for Trayvon Martin! Clean up your neighborhood's property for Trayvon Martin! Snitch on a drug-dealer for Trayvon Martin! Let's be Black and Proud again! Let's be Black and Beautiful again! More importantly, let us be a people united again, never defeated by injustice and racism! In Jesus, Allah, Mohammad, Yahweh, Buddha, Whoever's name, let's stop being the people we hate to be treated like and start being a people who can truly and honestly cry foul and claim injustice, when we are mistreated, because we are no longer thugs, sexy bitches, failures in school, hardcore, or savages; we are men and women, boys and girls, children of the Earth, the beloved of God (Allah).

Now that you know better, do better.

Peace and blessings,

Charles Edgar Hampton, M.Ed.

1.)Peterson, P., Hanuchek, E., & Riddel, J. (2011) U.S. proficiency in math and reading lags behind that of most industrialized nations, endangering long term economic growth. Education Next. Retrieved May 1, 2012 from http://educationnext.org/u-s-proficiency-in-math-and-reading-lags-behind-that-of-most-industrialized-nations-endangering-long-term-economic-growth/Aud, S., Hussar, W., Kena, G., Bianco, K., Frohlich, L., Kemp J., Tahan, K. (2011) The Condition of Education 2011. Retrieved from http://nces.ed.gov/pubs2011/2011033.pdf

2.)Planty, M., Hussar, W., Snyder T., Provasnik, S., Kena, G., Dinkes, R., Kewal-Ramani, A., & Kemp, J. (2008). The condition of education 2008 (NCES 2008-031). Washington, DC: U.S. Department of Education, National Center for Education Statistics.

3.)Spencer, J. A. (2012). Views from the Black of the Math Classroom. Dissent (00123846), 59(1), 76-80.

4.)Wenner, J. M., Burn, H. E., & Baer, E. M. (2011). The Math You Need, When You Need It [sic]: online modules that remediate mathematical skills in introductory geoscience courses. Journal Of College Science Teaching, 41(1), 16-24.

5.)Aud, S., Hussar, W., Kena, G., Bianco, K., Frohlich, L., Kemp J., Tahan, K. (2011) The condition of Education 2011. Retrieved from http://nces.ed.gov/pubs2011/2011033.pdf

6.)Watkins, B. (2012). [article] Star Jones vs. ‘BBW’: 5 Things Little Girls Learn From That Show. Retrieved May 12, 2012 from http://newsone.com/2004588/star-jones-vs-basketball-wives-five-things-little-girls-learn-from-that-show/

Casting Your Pearls Before Swine: How to Prevent Drama in Your Relationships and Life Period

I don't know about you, but though I platonically love all my students, I am sick and tired of seeing the same females talking about how sick and tired of not being treated right and being under appreciated in their relationship. Therefore, I wrote this in response to one of my friends, who like we all at some point or another, experience relationship drama.

There is a key scripture which will help us to not be truly hurt in relationships and here it is,

Matthew 7.6: “Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw your pearls before swine, or they will trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.

This scripture talks about not giving something precious and valuable to a creature who will not appreciate it. So if you are trying to be a holy child of God, then you are a jewel or pearl to the world and to God and His people. Therefore, you have to make sure that you don't give yourself emotionally or physically, in relationship to dogs (typically horny bad guys) or pigs (greedy and self-serving females), who will only take advantage of you, use you, hurt you, break you, and/or not appreciate you. Ladies if you consider your goodies to truly be that 'good' then stop giving it up to dogs. Boys if you've worked hard for what you have then stop spending it on gold-diggers. We all sadly do this often, because we don't get ourselves in the position God wants us to be in, forfeiting the fact that you CAN have people in your lives who will treat you wonderfully and value you as the godly treasures that you are.

This pain we experience should push us to act and leads us into our next scripture reminding us to ask, seek, and knock.

Matthew 7.7: “[a]Ask, and it will be given to you; [b]seek, and you will find; [c]knock, and it will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. 9 Or what man is there among you [d]who, when his son asks for a loaf, [e]will give him a stone? 10 Or [f]if he asks for a fish, he will not give him a snake, will he? 11 If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him!

We have to ask for godly, righteous, and/or good people to enter our lives, and of course must ask Him to help us be that type of person ourselves. We need to seek God, and He will arrange those people and things to be in our lives, so that we will indeed live that abundant life He desires for us.

John 10.10: The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.

Then, finally, we are to knock or take action when we arrive on the doorstep of our blessing so that we can move/enter into that place of blessing/claim it. We have got to be careful and not let

our blessing just look us in the face and be too afraid to take that step. That is truly the tragedy of the ages, to have the opportunity to grasp your blessing just before you and for some reason, likely fear, somehow pass it up. This last step of claiming and stepping into our blessing, is the final stage, because it is that journey of prayer (asking God), and living the righteous life (seeking God), which prepares us to then receive the blessing of God in RIGHTEOUSNESS. For we have to understand that the Bible is indeed a double-edged sword, it not only cuts when you slash at your enemy, but can also cut you as well. Therefore, God brings you through that process to ensure that you are NOT A DOG OR A SWINE YOURSELF, because God cannot break His own Word. HE WILL NOT GIVE YOU PEARLS OR THAT WHICH IS HOLY IF YOU YOURSELF ARE NOT RIGHT WITH HIM!!! So make sure that you think about that next time that you want to claim that God isn't listening to your prayers. You probably aren't ready, because in all honesty, since no one is perfect, we never will fully and/or truly be.

Getting back to the topic, if WE can Ask, Seek, and Knock, and not cast ourselves (His blessings) before the dogs and swine of this world, then we have arrived. Let me assure you, nay, let me allow His word to assure you that it is arduous, tough, and harrowing, but very much worth it.

John 16.33: “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Let's take some time to ponder the reality of many of our bad decisions in life, and their utter and complete foolishness. Literally, I will wait... Now, after you read the next question, take a moment to again, really analyze the decisions you are making and the results they yield. Which is worse to suffer at the hands and/or will of the devil and/or evil/bad people, only to receive heartache and sorrow in the end; or is it instead better to labor for the Lord and have that pleasant 'growing pain' or God ordained suffering, which brings about blessing? Simply stated, would you rather endure in faith and perseverance, trusting that God knows best and is disciplining you for your profit and benefit, or suffer through someone else's selfish and perverted pleasure only to end with resent and bitterness? You may want to reread that last one.

Here is what the Word has to say about godly suffering.

Hebrews 12.5-11: But you have forgotten that the Scriptures say to God’s children,

“When the Lord punishes you,

don’t make light of it,

and when he corrects you,

don’t be discouraged.

6 The Lord corrects the people

he loves

and disciplines those

he calls his own.”

7 Be patient when you are being corrected! This is how God treats his children. Don’t all parents correct their children? 8 God corrects all of his children, and if he doesn’t correct you, then you don’t really belong to him. 9 Our earthly fathers correct us, and we still respect them. Isn’t it even better to be given true life by letting our spiritual Father correct us?

10 Our human fathers correct us for a short time, and they do it as they think best. But God corrects us for our own good, because he wants us to be holy, as he is. 11 It is never fun to be corrected. In fact, at the time it is always painful. But if we learn to obey by being corrected, we will do right and live at peace.

Again, whether you suffer for right or wrong reasons, it will be tough at the time, but with God, the results are blessing and with the Devil, the results are the regrets and disappointments of a pitiful life.

To put a close on the topic of suffering, consider the following.

Romans 5.3-5: Not only so, but we[c] also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

Let me take some time to build upon and reinforce that previous reference. That scripture refers to the process or cause and effect relationship in a chain reaction when we endure godly suffering instead of worldly suffering. The Word says that as a result of godly suffering we develop perseverance. God then builds character in us SO LONG as we endure in humility and focus on the lesson God has for us, not being bitter at our circumstances in contrast to others, but staying in the creations place and praising the Creator, our Father, who is helping us and loving us, even during our growing pains. THAT is how you develop character, by being faithful and honorable to God even when, NO, ESPECIALLY when times are tough. Then, at last, the character that we have and live out, becomes hope. Hope not just that all of our pain was for a greater good, but hope that we will do as I am now and will bless others with the knowledge that all pain is not bad. And, moreover, that there is a godly pain that results not in bitterness, but blessing; there is a weeping that yields joy, not jadedness; there is a God who loves you through that pain and sustains you, holding your hand through it all like a loving Father should and will. Only letting you fall so far, be cut only so deep, or scratched just enough that you learn, know and as a result, use that redemption and growth as a testimony for all who see you and marvel at the transition or the change in your life all through Him. After all, Solomon said in Proverbs 27.6: Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. God is the greatest and our true “Best Friend Forever”, therefore give the One we claim as “All-Knowing” the credit He is due.

What is the result of this godly suffering again? Matthew 5.16: Make your light shine, so that others will see the good that you do and will praise your Father in heaven.

Though the answer is simple, many times we fail to choose the right path and then act surprised when we knew/know full well where our actions would lead us to eventually. Don't fall for the hype ladies and gentlemen; God does not want us to suffer, be upset, sad, or be in pain unnecessarily. Take for instance John 3:16, many know it, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him, shall not perish but have eternal life.” But not many know

John 3:17-19: For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. 18 Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son. 19 This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil.

In those scriptures following that most quoted verse, God explains why He allowed that drama in His Son's life and moreover, shows us just how important we are to Him; how much He loves us. Verse 17 reassures us that God's desire is to help and save us from the horrors and pains of this world. GOD MADE THE WORLD AND EVERYTHING IN IT; HE EVEN MADE THE DEVIL AND ALL HIS CHUMPS WHO SERVE HIM. Therefore, God knows that drama abounds here. He knows that there is sorrow, pain, heartache, and disappointment on Earth. And here, He says EXPLICITLY that He Himself, came to save us from it. This is almost like Him saying "My bad, this is way too tough for you; here, let me come down there and help you with that; let me show you how it's done."

God Himself knows our struggles because in Christ He became man and was tempted in all ways with hunger, weakness, anger, lust, greed, jealousy, etc. But again, He overcame the world and has literally shown us how to do it in the flesh Himself (Christ's life), provided written instructions (Bible), given us guides and helpers in many different forms (pastors, teachers, parents, guardian angels, etc.), and in His sovereignty, even stops us many times from hurting ourselves in our stupidity/sin, all because He loves us. Verse 18 and 19 then explain the only reason that we can be condemned, it is this; that light is come into the world and people instead choose the darkness over the light because they love evil or bad things (drama) too much. That is to say, God has literally done everything that we could ever want or need to prove to us that there is a better way of life, and that we can live and operate in love and happiness, joy and peace, blessing and success, if we would only choose Him over the world, choose the light over the darkness.

The relevance of choosing light over darkness to the first scripture about "casting your pearls before swine" is this. How many times does it take for us to give our bodies, our minds, our hearts, our time, our gifts, our money, and our lives to the world, to the evil one with his schemes and minions, to lust, greed, and sin before we come to our senses? How many times are we going to get on Facebook, Skype, Twitter, etc. and complain about how we have been hurt, taken advantage of, broken, disappointed, trampled upon, stood up, neglected, abused, used and thrown away; and be left to sulk with nothing but pain, wounds, tears, and sorrow? How many times are we going to pass up the light for the darkness and then confirm what God has already told us here so clearly; the end/fruit/wages of that darkness (SIN) is death, i.e. that is death to joy, love, our hearts, innocence, peace, relationships, bodies, etc.), yet the fruit of the spirit (LIGHT) are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

Galatians 5.21-22: God’s Spirit makes us loving, happy, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, 23 gentle, and self-controlled. There is no law against behaving in any of these ways.

We hurt ourselves when we choose darkness over light. But more importantly and sadly, we hurt the heart of God when we refuse all that He longs to offer us when we choose drama over love and understanding, sin over righteousness and self-control, pain over joy and peace.

Though no one in their right mind would do such a thing, we have to retrain ourselves in the Word (renew your mind, Romans 12.12) and develop discernment so that we will be able to tell right from wrong, a poser from a friend, a booby-trap (men sometimes literally) from a blessing, and a Mr./Ms. “Right now” from an life-long committed, mutually beneficial investment. The Word begs that we study to show ourselves approved, so that we can then rightly divide the Word of truth.

2 Timothy 2.15: Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.

This simply means that as a result of reading the Word and by studying the Word, we learn and develop the gift of discernment and are then able to apply the Word rightly, knowing when to bless and speak life onto and into godly relationships and situations, while at the same time learning how to bind and remove/destroy ungodly spirits and problem areas in our life which prevent us from living the abundant life we as well as God desires us to have.

John 10.10: The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.

A short/easy application and example of this Scripture is where the Word teaches us that we can tell or judge a tree by the fruit it bears.

Matthew 12.23-25: “Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit. 34 You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. 35 A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him.

That is to say, a orange tree produces oranges, apple tree apples, pear tree pears, etc. So then when you are trying to figure out whether you are dealing with a godly person or in a godly situation look at the fruit it bears. We know that the wages of sin is death, Romans 6.23. Notice the plural noun (wages), though the direct object of that noun (death) seems singular. Please note, that death comes in many forms, severeties, and can manifest itself in various areas, so be on guard.

Furthermore, we know that the devil comes to or bears the following fruit; steal, kill, and destroy, contrasted against Christ offering abundant life.

John 10.10: The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.

Noting this then, we should understand that God and His people should do/create or produce opposite fruit. Therefore, combining all these we understand that the results of obedience/righteousness is life or that the wages/fruit of God are giving, creation, and edification. In regards to a relationships...

1. If your relationship steals your innocence, peace, health, love, joy, etc., let it go. If it kills your future, success, family ties, faith in God, etc., cut it lose.
2. If it destroys your heart, your generosity, hope, passion for God, etc., then move on.
3. All these signify that your relationship is of the devil.

On the contrary,

1. If your relationship gives you innocence, peace, health, love, joy, etc., help it grow.
2. If it brings life to your future, success, family ties, faith in God, etc., strengthen it.
3. If it builds your heart, your generosity, hope, passion for God, etc., thank God for it and keep it holy, because these are of God.

Simple! But you have to have studied to have known the scriptures, so that you can put them together and then live it out. Study, study, study. David's writing in Psalms, declares that His delight was in the Word of the Lord and that he read and meditated on it day and night. This doesn't make him a fanatic or out of touch with the world, it instead provides the guidance for a fantastic life and ensures that you stay in touch with God and out of the reach of the Devil and relationship drama.

Psalms 119.16: I delight in your decrees; I will not neglect your word.

Psalms 1.2: But his delight is in the law of the Lord, And in His law he meditates day and night.

Brothers and sisters, in closing, I desire for us all to be able to, as often as possible, choose the light over the darkness. To have the wisdom to see things as they really are, to have the discernment to know right from wrong, to have the strength to choose the light over the darkness, to have the patience to endure the transition, and to have the grace to be thankful and help others do the same. I made the decision to live in Him in the 10th grade because I was tired of the pain, disappointment, drama, and sorrow which swarms around the drama of this world like angry and malicious hornets bickering around a wounded hive. I hate to be stung, and I would assume that you do too. I beg and implore you to trust Him the way that I have and always will, because He loves you and wants the best for you. I am sent here to testify to you as proof. You reading this proves all that He has spoken through me: He is alive; He is here; He loves you; He wants you to be happy; and He is begging you through me right now for you to turn to Him. Haven't you cried enough? Haven't you been hurt enough? Haven't you learned that this world has nothing for you but pain and sorrow at last?

Well if that is the case then read this aloud, "God You are so true and honest; this world has nothing for me but hurt and misery, and I don't want any more of those any longer. I want You. I want Your peace, Your love, Your forgiveness, Your presence, and most of all I want us to be together in the greatest relationship, forever in harmony. I accept the gift of your Son Jesus Christ, and today I choose His light over the darkness of this world. I need your help so that I no longer cast myself, your precious and holy pearl, your beloved child before the dogs and swine of this world. I have in past chosen sin over salvation, but from this moment forward, I choose you as my God and as my Guide always and forever, in Jesus' loving and precious name, Amen!"

My friend, there is no greater joy than the joy you feel right now, knowing and trusting that so long as you are following Him, that everything, EVERY SINGLE ASPECT OF YOUR LIFE is safe and guided and protected by Him.

Romans 8.28: And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

From this moment on, may His love hold you, may His peace surround you, may His power strengthen you, and may the Son dwell in you, that you would indeed have abundant life now and ever after. My people, I love you; I rejoice in your decision; and I praise God for your time and your eyes. God bless and keep in touch.

Let me know about your relationship journies below.

Peace and blessings,

CEH :-) <><